Scattered

There are days where you are laser focused and there are days where you feel like your mind is shattered across the floor like the pieces of a Bone China bowl that broke. As I sit outside my Therapists office trying to gather my thoughts before going in, I realise how much of the latter I’ve been feeling lately.

These type of days are pretty crap and may just leave you feeling drained & underwhelmed by everything thats going on. You might start thinking thoughts like “whats the point of it all” and start questioning your existence & everything you’ve ever done & doing. Hold tight though, because everything is temporary. I looked into my own feelings & have a few leads so as to why I might be feeling this way

1. I’ve been pretty shit with taking care of my health in the past few weeks & have hardly exercised enough, meditated or eaten any semblance of nutritious food.
2. I have a lot on my plate & feel stressed about it.
3. I’m starting building the second version of Pause & getting the jitters that are pretty normal before undertaking a huge task.
4. I’m in limbo where things aren’t moving fast enough (due to factors not in my control)

Your reasons could be completely different but the fact is that there is probably some logical answer behind your state of being. Deep down, I think we all know that there is an explanation for everything. But our Lizard Brain, likes exercising & jumps to conclusions at every chance it gets. Safe to say, there are some pretty maladaptive thoughts that have been going on in my head during this strange time and writing this is one way to try to make them go away.

On to the golden question of “fixing it”(don’t we all love quick fixes now). I’m going to be approaching it in a phase wise manner:

1. Fix my health by exercising & meditating daily and eating nutritious, home cooked food.
2. Taking a hard look at my calendar & seeing what’s causing most of the stress & try and reduce or outsource those tasks

It will probably take a few days (to be optimistic, weeks to be realistic) to feel better but the one thing I’ve learnt in working with my mental health is that everything is a process & everything has ebb & flow. For the past few weeks, I was feeling absolutely fine, charged & ready to go and motivated like hell. Today, I’m exactly the opposite. I sometimes question whether I’ve made any progress in managing my emotions or not, but then I realise that the curve will never be linear. There will be crests & there will be troughs. The important part is to recognise that everything is temporary, and everything will pass.