An Honest way to determine “Net Positive” Equations

Are your equations net positive?

After feeling like a** for a few weeks, I conducted an audit on my time. How do certain people, activities or places feel to me? Do I walk away feeling energised & hopeful or bogged down & hopeless? Is the relationship, place or activity a net positive equation?

I learned the concept of a “net positive” equation from Ankur, who looks at things more from an ROI perspective than I ever will (which is why it’s great for me to have him as a co-founder). According to this, all things considered, is what you’re getting out of the particular equation, a net gain or a loss?

There will always be things that we don’t want to but have to do. Maybe it’s work you have to do, maybe it’s a relationship that’s draining you. The way I think about it is simply, on a macro perspective, is this something that’s adding to my life?

Maybe I need the job to pay bills. Is it worth the energy drain to suck it up & go with it? Or is it so draining that you’d rather give it up, learn to live with less & be happier? Is the bickering in a relationship causing you more stress than the joy & support it gives? From a zoomed out perspective, is it adding value to your life, or taking more than its giving?

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom - Aristotle

Thinking about these is not easy & can sometimes feel very robotic, but essential. Without digging into the “why” of the actions that make up life, there will come a point where you might take impulsive decisions & while they have their place, there is some merit from actually thinking about the things that make up our lives.

To make this reflection simpler, I developed a framework that I practice whenever I feel a dissonance regarding something. It’s tougher to do with emotional decisions & for someone who’s life recently seems like a series of emotional decisions, its a big change.

But, here it is nonetheless :

1. Identify the part of your life that’s causing friction.
2. List everything about it that gives you joy, and everything that annoys you.
3. On a scale of a month, mark all instances of the joyful parts & all the annoying parts.
4. Look at where you stand.
5. If it’s an emotional relationship, extend the time period to 3 months, maybe even 6.
6. If it’s more or less balanced, you’re good. (you can’t expect anything to be perfect)
7. If it’s tilting more to the negative side, your options are:
1. Communicate whats bothering you & repeat the exercise depending on the conversation
2. Cut ties
8. If it’s more positive than negative, take it easy, include it in your daily gratitude practice & brew a coffee. :-)